Well, wow. It has been over a month since I last posted. It's been a bit of a whirlwind around here. Since it's been a while, I guess I'll update first. Then, I hope I can settle in to a more regular schedule to blog about thoughts, feelings, and stuff that's happening.
So, just in general, things are starting to go well. Here's the nutshell:
We have bedtime issues. . . J is about to start Kindergarten. . . I just started a new term in school . . . The house/ job / financial burdens are finally beginning to ease.
Yes, we still have big bedtime issues, so if anyone has any good ideas, send them my way. We take a bath, put on jammies, and brush teeth. After I read to them, the lights are turned down and I close the door. It stays quiet for 2-5 minutes. Then starts the fighting and constantly coming out of the room. Have to go potty, need a hug, he hit me, why aren't you in bed, can I have a snack, etc. etc. And if it's not all of that, then they are in their room - being nice to each other, but playing, laughing, and not sleeping. Ugh. So tired. On nights when I have things to do, it's the in and out game. On the nights when I'm trying to go to bed, they're playing (and making a huge mess) and I can't sleep. I really am ready for this to end. I've even tried getting the daycare to keep them up from nap. A few times J has crashed on those evenings, but most of the time it's the same nightmare as usual, with the added bonus that they don't eat dinner, and don't play nicely during the evening. The next morning, they can't get out of bed. There have been several days that I've packed their clothes in a bag and carried them to the car in pajamas.
J starts Kindergarten on Monday! I am so excited. . . and concerned. I am worried that he's not ready. He is still so goofy. I wonder if he'll be able to sit still and pay attention. He has spent a lot of time this summer in the Kindergarten / First grade class and the teacher always tells me he does great. I know that he is smart enough - he just has to focus and follow through. There are other thoughts that I have about Kindergarten, too . . . like Wow. Do I really have a Kindergarten-er? I know it sounds cliche, but I remember when he was born and started crawling and talking. It doesn't seem like so long ago. . . Okay, enough of that. My other thoughts on school are about how hard it's going to be. School for my kids is going to be way different than it was for me. Our public schools are suffering more than anyone else in this budget crisis. I have heard some scary facts lately -- like this: 60% of the budget cuts were to schools! That's very scary! That's Art and Music programs, Physical Education (when our kids need it most) and funding for supplies. Yes, supplies. You would not believe the list that I got for a Kindergarten-er to start school. It was nuts. We bought it all, though. Sanitizer, wipes, 10 gluesticks, dry erase markers, highlighters, paper plates, etc. etc. The list was almost a full page - and most of it was for classroom / teacher use. It is upsetting. I am sure that the cuts are felt more deeply in the higher grades. . . Kindergarten, after all, is only a few hours a day. I can imagine what is happening at the High Schools right now. I have a friend who is an English teacher. I believe she mentioned having 40 students in a class this year. . . It saddens me, and I hope that other parents are concerned.
I also just started a new term in school. It happens fast. The terms are six weeks long. . . This is my fourth term. There are nine terms and an externship in the program. Each term contains two classes, or six units. One PT course (pharmacy technology) and one GE class. This term is Pharmacy Terminology and Sociology. I'm excited about Terminology. It's foundation knowledge, and seems to be easy. The term also comes with NO spelling tests!! I am not quite as enthusiastic about Sociology. It looks like it's going to be a little daunting. More work, research, and much heavier discussion topics.
More work + less time = extra stress. How am I going to do more, and do it right, when I was barely making it before? Hmm.
Well, it's not just about more schoolwork. I also have work to do now. I will be starting a work-study job at school soon. So there's more homework to do, less time to do it. I'll be spending less time at home, and less time with the boys. J is starting Kindergarten, and I need to have time to work with him and make sure he is focused and learning. When am I going to do that? Who knows. I'm sure I'll find the time once we get going, but thinking about all of it is overwhelming.
One thing that is not overwhelming any more is my financial situation. I don't want to go in to a lot of detail here, but I do feel like a huge weight has recently been lifted off of me. For a while I had to wonder how I was going to make rent, buy groceries, and pay bills on the GI Bill. Now there is a "new" GI Bill, and my burdens are much lighter. I am also looking forward to working at school. I'll have less time, I know, but not as many worries. I don't have to go shopping with my parents because the boys need clothes or school supplies that I can't afford. I didn't like feeling like I couldn't take care of all of those things for myself. We're not going to be rolling in dough, but once things are settled, we will have enough. That makes me feel good.
Wow. Long blog. Thanks to those of you who made it all the way through. So, in a nutshell, things are getting better. My kids are growing up, and we are all excited about school. The house is (more) organized, and easier to maintain now that (almost) everything is unpacked and put away. The only big issue that we still have is bedtime, and I am confident that we will get there.
I feel better. Like I'm just letting go of all of this stuff that I needed to talk about. It's like therapy, only instead of going somewhere and having someone ask me all kinds of questions, I'm sitting in my own chair. . . just saying the things I need to say. My hands hurt, but that's easier to shake off than a stress headache.
Until next time . . . .
~ J
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