Reflections on 2009

Reflection Questions for 2009

I got these questions from Heather. I didn't think it would be too difficult. They are making me think, though. I think I'm ready for a new year!

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

The single best thing that happened this year was getting to "move in" to this house. At the start of the year, My parents and my boys and I were living here together. In a two-bedroom condo. It was very difficult, to say the least. They bought a house and moved out, and then our 'household goods' were delivered by the military. After getting out of the Navy, having a place of our own again was the biggest - and best change possible.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

This could be a toss-up. I could say that living with my parents was challenging. I don't want to sound ungrateful, though. If they hadn't taken us in, we would have had nowhere to go. But it was also a blessing. I want to say that again. It was a blessing to be able to live with them while I put my life back together.

Okay, challenging. I think that the most challenging thing this year was actually moving in. When I lived in military housing, I had a three story, three bedroom house. This is definitely downsizing. And ten months later, there was a lot of stuff that I had forgotten about -- and a lot of stuff that I really didn't need. It took a long time to get rid of the stuff we didn't need and everything that the boys had outgrown.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

An unexpected joy? Hard to think of, really. It has been a tough year. And all of the things that have happened have been planned. Not many surprises at all.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

An unexpected obstacle was how hard it has been to find friends. I'm 26 years old. This shouldn't be so hard. I thought that once I moved here, I would find people and be able to make new friends. Didn't happen. Then I believed that when I started school I could make friends with my classmates. That, too, hasn't been so easy. So all of my friends are either too busy, or too far away. I wish "they" could just figure out teleportation already. Then I could visit some of my other friends, and they could visit me.

5. Pick three words to describe 2009.

boring, lonely, demanding

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2009 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

Well, no spouse. My parents maybe? They were here with me for half of it, and they know most of what I've been through since they moved out.
I think they would say emotional, financial, and difficult.

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2009 (again, without asking).

My parents again? Nah, I'll just skip this one.

8. What were the best books you read this year?

Hmm. Most of the books I've read this year have either been romances or re-reads. There have been a few worth mentioning, though. The Memory Keeper's Daughter. Barefoot. Can't wait to get to Heaven. True Compass, Senator Kennedy's memoir (still in progress). Hmm. A very short list. I do learn a lot from reading, but most of my reading is just to pass time, or "escape" when I am stressed.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

This year I haven't had very many relationships. I still love my Navy friends. Some of us will be friends, near or far, forever. I treasure that, I just need more people closer to me. This year wasn't really my year for friends, new or old. This year my most valuable relationships were with my parents. For most of the year, they were the only people that I truly had - aside from those that I have in the land of the internet.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Hmm. Well, in January I lived with my parents, had no job, and very little hope. Now I am in school, I have my own "space" and I am hopeful for the future. BIG changes when you think about it.


11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

Well, when I lived with my parents, there wasn't really anyone I could relate to, and no one (besides them) that I could talk to. Since they moved out I have been even more alone. I have had to learn how to handle that. Some days it is still hard. . . but I am better at handling my emotions and taking care of myself (alone) than I was a year ago.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

Hmm. Well, I still haven't been to church - or even found one. But I think I have become a little closer to God this year. It comes easier when you can find more of yourself. I've been pretty closed for a long time. About six years. Those of you who know me well will know why. There have been many times over the years that I have tried to come back to Him... but something always happens and I find myself without hope or faith. This has been a hard year, but I still have hope. I have faith, and I am looking forward to getting back to a full relationship with God in 2010.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

Well, I'm not going to talk about pounds. Yet. I didn't lose what I wanted to this year. Last December I thought I was ready. I thought I was un-depressed enough to get motivated and get in shape. I wasn't. I'm still out of shape - on the inside and outside of my body. In 2010 it will change. I still have emotional days, but I am getting more friends. My house is put together. And even better things are coming on the horizon. I am confident that this year is my year. I get my life back. Graduation, Vacation, a job . . . and a healthier body!

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

I don't know that I grew with other people at all. I have felt very far from others this year. Most of the year - even when I lived with my parents - I have felt alone. It has just started to change. I hope that 2010 is going to be a much better year. I'm not going to hold my breath. But as I said ... I have hope.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?

Ha. That's easy. The most enjoyable are was getting a home! When mom and dad moved out, the place became mine. And once I started finally getting everything "done" that felt great, too.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management?

Moving in. Seriously. It was exciting, but overwhelming, too. Remember the part about the three-story three bedroom home? Seeing all of that stuff come in here on day one was very overwhelming! Then I had to go through the looong process of getting rid of the crap. I had to let go of the things we didn't need anymore. . . And find a place for all of everything else. It has been very challenging - and it took a long time! I'm there now. We're at the "maintenance" stage of cleaning and organizing. It can still get out of control, but the boxes and piles of crap are gone. This is much better.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Facebook. I have gotten a bit addicted, but I guess that's because I don't have the opportunity to go out with my friends. So I try to keep in touch in the internet world. Then there are the games. . . and when I am on the computer, I don't feel as alone or overwhelmed by housework and homework.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Moving in. Cleaning and Organizing. They all go together, and it took a long time, but I am so happy that I did it. I am also thankful to everyone who helped me get it done. Mostly dad, but mom helped a lot too . . . and my Jennifer. I might still be without a floor in my bedroom if it weren't for her motivation, help and support. I love you!

I will say that my sister M helped, too. Not that she was here and did anything... it was more the idea of her. She is very critical, and after I moved in, I wanted to be able to show that things were different. I'm happy to say that when she came to visit recently, the house was done - unpacked, organized, and clean. I was not embarrassed. I was proud. So I guess it worked ...

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

Sometimes things happen, sometimes you have to make things happen. I am trying to make myself be more proactive. I can make things happen, not just sit and wait and hope for them to happen.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you.

This isn't a perfect life, but it's our life!


........


Well, that's it. I'd love to hear from any of you about what you think ... or read your answers to the questions. I know that 2009 has been a long, tough year for a lot of people. So let's all look forward to 2010!

A giveaway!!!

I am posting this to tell everyone . . .

I've mentioned my friend Heather. She has a blog, alis grave nil. She has been an inspiration to me. She encouraged me to start writing ... and the blogs that she writes are honest and thought-provoking.

She is currently offering a giveaway. I encourage any of you to read her blog. You may want to enter for a chance at the giveaway - it's a hand-crocheted blanket. I'd rather that you didn't ... because I would love it! But I'm sure that you will love her blog!

Alis grave nil

More from me soon.

I can't believe . . .

That it has been so long! I keep thinking about blogging. There has been a lot going on. And a lot that I would like to share with you... But still, I haven't been here.

I just realized that it has been since Thanksgiving! So much has happened. Well, I won't post a whole month here all at once. It really flew by - and it was great! I really do want to start blogging more often. Perhaps it will help me feel less lonely. I still wonder if anyone actually does read these blogs, but it doesn't really matter. The important part is that I write them.

Well, anyway. I'm back. A new year is about to begin, and I intend to stay here. I'll be blogging activities, feelings, and news to . . . whoever!

Thanks for reading. Talk to you soon!