So many plans. . .

And somehow, none of them worked out.

Today is Saturday. For two days, nothing has seemed to go quite right. Perhaps I should stop making plans and just go with the flow. . . It seems like that's what everyone else does, right? Maybe if I go with the flow, I wouldn't have so many hard feelings about things not going the way I thought they would. . . .

Friday is a day off of school, every week. It's for catching up, tutoring, and doing things that you need to do. It's nice. I generally get a lot accomplished on Fridays because the boys are still in preschool. It's kinda like a three-day weekend every week - only better because one whole day is without the boys! This Friday, like others, I had big plans. I was also asked to help out a classmate. I have no problem with that. I am a "mentor" in class, and I try to live up to the responsibility and the confidence that my classmates had in me when they voted. I also tested out of College Algebra, the current GE course. So I agreed to help. Ten AM is early, and still leaves plenty of time in the rest of the day, right? Well, it was nearly eleven when I called, on my way out the door. Unfortunately she said she wouldn't be at school until a little after noon. Okay. So I altered my plans. I showed up at about noon, with no sign of her. I waited and I waited. At One PM, I called, and she was still working at home. She could take a shower and come right over. Well, that's nice, but I haven't eaten, and the day is wasting away. I didn't say that to her. I agreed, instead, to collect my laptop and meet her at a location with WIFI. At four o'clock, she still was not caught up to where she should be in the class. I had to pick up the boys. So we went back to my house. . . and kept working until near dinner time. So, nearly the whole day, gone. I'm trying not to be upset because I know she appreciates it, as does my instructor. But Friday is my day, and I didn't run any errands, and couldn't cross anything off my to-do list until after the kids went to bed. . . . *sigh* . . . .

Today was also supposed to be full of plans. Starting with the Zoo, early in the morning. I found out late late Friday night that someone was coming into town for a whirlwind visit. Hmm. I don't like re-arranging my plans at the last minute - especially if I don't know what will happen instead. We went ahead trying to get ready for the Zoo. Our guests, friends of the boys, and their mom, called in the morning. Despite the predicted heat (103*-106*) we decided to go for it anyway, and just leave early. I took a quick shower (I learned in boot camp, and kept the skill) and got the boys dressed and excited to go to the Zoo and see the giraffes and monkeys. They are the favorites, since the Zoo doesn't have any elephants. . . . But I think the "Zoo" is a topic for another blog entirely. . . Anyway, after hanging up the phone, we were ready in about twenty minutes. I was quite proud of myself, and started puttering around the house taking care of little things while I waited for our friends to call. It was over an hour (after we were ready) until they called. By this time, I had figured that it was a lost cause. Most days, JR and Z still take a nap. When going out and about, we need to have time to spend somewhere to make it worth our while - especially if we have to drive half an hour each way. Anyway, while I was waiting and waiting, I decided that it might be better not to go. Not just because of the heat, but also because I wanted to have a visit. I didn't know how long we would have to wait for our visitor, or how long they would stay, but I cancelled the Zoo and told the boys. They were excited. I have to say, so was I. I like having guests. The house isn't really ready for guests, but this was different. We don't get to visit with them often, so when they decide to come to town, it might be worth re-arranging your day. . . you never know when it'll happen again.

So I settled the boys down, determined to do as much as possible to make the house look presentable before they arrived. It didn't matter, because my efforts weren't appreciated. The only comments about the house were regarding how much was left to do. Ugh. If they had only seen it the last two weeks to know how much I have already done! I bit my tongue as much as possible because the boys were excited. (I am thinking here that the state of the house may be a topic for another blog, as well. Bear with me. I may have a lot of issues to air out!)

When our visit was over, it was too late for the boys to take a nap. Great. Long day, and a rough night ahead. I decided that the best way to handle the situation was to wear them out good. They would be too tired to fight or be naughty. So we got dressed and headed to the pool. That was the good part of our day. . . Even though it was "stupid hot", we had fun! And came home just in time for dinner. I put on a short DVD and started to get dinner ready. By the time everything was simmering, J was zoned out and Z was passed out. Great. Again, not good for the evening. And I'll tell you that a worn out four year old with a 20 minute nap is not a happy four year old. . . just in case you didn't know. So we ate dinner. But the sun was pretty draining. We returned to the TV. The end of the movie is near now. I drew the curtains and dimmed the lights about halfway through the movie. JR is already asleep, and I am confident that Z will go down pretty easily, too.

Not quite how I planned the day, but I guess it could have been worse. We got to have a visit, had fun, and bedtime should be fairly easy. . . Tomorrow I have no plans. I don't want to cancel anything, and I don't particularly enjoy the feeling that I get when something happens to throw off a plan that I think is going to go well. . . .

So we'll be going with the flow tomorrow "Like a twig on the shoulders of a mighty stream."
** bonus points to anyone who can name the movie quote **

I have studying to do, a to-do list, and may want to visit my grandparents. . . but whatever happens, happens. I'm telling myself that now so I know that it'll be okay tomorrow.

We'll make plans some other day. For this weekend, I've had enough. Time for the boys to go to bed, and time for me to have some relaxing time and see what else is going to happen . . . .

The first . . .

Well, here I go. Officially a blogger. Yes, I'm new at this. So forgive me if I don't quite do it right.

This may go back and forth between being a place to write what I feel, tell you what's going on, or ask opinions and ideas. I have thought about doing this for a while, but didn't know how to get started writing a real blog. And every time I think seriously about just doing it, a little voice tells me not to. For those of you who don't know, I have a lack of self-confidence. There's often a voice that tells me my ideas suck, or I don't look good, or no one will care. . . .

Today I am starting this blog because a friend told me not to listen to that voice. Thanks for the support, H!

Hmm, what else do you say in the intro? I think that who we are and where we're at in life will come later. I think I'll tell you about the name, though.

I don't watch a lot of TV, but I love Jon and Kate plus 8. So sad what's happening now. . . but that's a topic for another time. Anyway, in their intro, it they talk about who they are. And at the very end, it says "It may not be a perfect life. . . but it's our life." I have always loved that line, and I have tried to take it to heart, especially in this transition. We don't have to have a perfect life. I know it's not going to turn out the way I planned, but it's our life. So I try my best to make the most of it. That's where I got both the title, and came up with the web address for my blog!

I sure hope someone reads this! Oh, there's the pessimist again. Okay, I hope you all enjoy reading this! I look forward to hearing (or reading) your thoughts on our not-perfect life.

More soon!

~ J