The ABC's of me!

This one is from H. I, also, secretly love these things. They make you think about yourself, and when you read your friends' answers, you can learn things you never knew . . . So I guess as I blog more often, I will throw some of these quizzes in. I'll have fun, and you can all learn a little bit more about me. Be warned, though, that I never have one-word answers!

A – Advocate For: Gee, I have to be an advocate for something in the first one? This is difficult. I don't speak up very often and I rarely get on a soapbox. But I would say quitting smoking . . . Smoking is a dirty, nasty habit. It smells bad, costs money, and kills. There are a lot of other things that I think are important, but I don't talk about them often -- and I really don't talk politics. So we'll leave it at that.

B – Best Feature: Well, this goes in to the self-confidence . . . or lack of it. I don't really like any of my features! I've never liked my smile - first it was gappy and crooked, then it had braces, and then the Navy wouldn't let me wear retainers, so it's still not perfect. . . I don't see my hair or my eyes as anything to write home about. And the rest of me is a work in progress. I am still working on my weight, so nothing else is really a "good" feature.

C – Could do without: Temper tantrums. Seriously. We have waaay too many of them around here. If I never saw / heard one again in my life, I would be okay.

D – Dreams & Desires: Finishing school. Finding someone. Living a better life.

E – Essential items: Hugs. Comfortable shoes. Wipes. A book - no matter where we're going.

F – Favourite pastime: Reading, writing, watching TV, and doing fun things with the boys - like going to the zoo, park, or having an adventure.

G – Good at: Hmm. Editing? Is that a skill. I think so. I can spot a spelling/grammatical error from a mile away. Well, maybe not a mile, because my vision isn't that good. But they drive me nuts. Some say I should have become an English teacher, but I think I would have been too frustrated. And I hate dissecting and labeling everything. My College English class drove me nuts!

H – Have never tried: Skydiving. Oops, first I typed "sly-diving" which sounds like more fun. I'm never going to jump out of a plane, ever. This was part of H's original answer. I am stealing it because it fits. And I'm going to add Bungee jumping. Really. Will NEVER try! I can't really think of something positive that I haven't tried but would like to. We'll just leave it at this.

I – If I Had a Million Dollars: First: pay off my debts. I'm not seriously in the hole, but there are a few things - the Navy, for one, and now my school loans, and a few small things. It would be nice to start my new life without that baggage. Second: Pay off the house. It would be like a gift for all of us. It may not be our perfect house, but for now, it's ours, and it works. . . Third, I would buy a car. I know I have one, and it's paid for, but it's not perfect, and if I had a million dollars, why not? It wouldn't be something crazy or super sporty. Somewhere between a minivan and smallish SUV. It would be nice, and new, and mine. Lastly, I would take us all for a vacation. We need one. We could have fun somewhere all together! That's it. The rest of the money would be invested. I am not one of those crazy people that would stop going to school or quit my job. I would still live the same life - just debt free with a really big nest egg!!

J – Junkie For: Diet Coke. Raspberries. Cheese-flavored pretzels.

K – Kindred Spirit: I don't know. I still have hope that there's one out there somewhere, but I'm too busy with the rest of my life to care or look. . . Someday, maybe.

L – Little Known Fact: This one seems to be the hardest for me to answer. I've thought about a lot of things to put in here, but I second-guess myself, thinking that it's not really a "little-known" fact. Most people probably know that I miss the Navy and wish I was still in. Most people probably know that I am lonely, but do not miss being with anyone. Most people probably know that I love singing and dancing - and do everywhere, even though I have no talent for either of them. Maybe they're little known facts, and maybe they're not. Maybe you know me really well. . . . Guess I'll have to try and be a little bit more un-predictable.

M – Memorable Moment: Coming home from deployment. There is no feeling like it. Yes, it sucks being gone. Half of me was in San Diego while I was all over the world. But standing there, listening to the music playing, and seeing that crowd of people on the pier - everyone that we haven't seen for three months (or six months, I did two deployments) - it is an awesome feeling. You know that out there somewhere in the crowd they are waiting for you, and you're going to get to see them and hug them. Then you hear the shot, and cheers ring out, because everyone knows that the shot means we are home! I get chills just sitting here thinking about it.

N – Never Again Will I: Leave my children for weeks or months at a time. I miss the Navy. But I am so glad that I am here for them now. I have so many moments now that I would have missed if I was still on the ship. . . . Like the first day of Kindergarten, all of the Holidays, none of the Duty days . . . .

O – Occasional Indulgence: Lunch. Okay, I know I have to explain. I do eat lunch every day. But occasionally, I take myself out to lunch. Just me and a book. It's great. Usually makes me feel good . . . sometimes it's not so great to be alone, but with food and a book, it's okay.

P – Profession: Student. That's it. Hopefully soon I'll start my FWS job, working for the school. But for now, it's school, homework, and blah.

Q – Quote: Too many to count. Yes, I love quotes. They can make you laugh, they can make you think, and they can inspire you. My personal quote, everyone should know by now. . . It may not be a perfect life, but it's our life. I say it when I need to remind myself that it is okay that I'm not perfect and may not ever be. I'm just me . . . trying to be the best I can be.

R – Reason to Smile: J and Z.

S – Sorry About: That one thing. You know, that one time. With you know who. Sorry about that. I didn't mean it, but I'm sorry that I did that. . . . And H, I'm sorry I stole your answer. Again. It's a good one. Not specific about anything, it just sums it all up.

T – Things That Are Worrying You Right Now: MONEY! Always. And whether or not I'm really able to do this without screwing up these kids. . .

U – Uninterested In: (Disinterested in?) People who are famous for being famous . . . but have no real talent or skill. Or those who used to be famous but now do nothing . . . Lindsay Lohan, for example.

V – Very Scared Of: Well, I really don't do scary movies. I don't like driving in the dark, and scared of strange or creepy people . . . I'm very scared of falling. Not afraid of heights, though, or flying. Just crashing :)

W – Worst Habits: Worrying. Taking things too seriously/ too much to heart. I know I'm sensitive, but sometimes I can't help it. It's hard to let things go . . . And my very worst habit : procrastination!

X – X Marks My Ideal Vacation Spot: Disney - Land/ World / Whatever. I'm still a kid at heart, and I have always been a Mickey girl. Those girly-girls can have the princess stuff. I'll take Mickey Mouse any day! Any age, any era. Alone or with the kids, it's perfect!

Y – Yummiest Desert: I love cheesecake with fruit and chocolate on it. And fresh fruit pie. My sister would call it "slimy limp fruit" but I really love apple and strawberry . . . . Lately, though, the favorite is fresh berries (razz and black) with a sprinkle of sugar and whipped cream. Mmmm!

Z – Zodiac Sign: Cancer.

A night out!!

*** This is a picture of Dad and Z. This was taken a few weeks ago, but they were ready to go for a walk. The boys have their moments, but they do love their grandpa! They have always liked to go on walks with him. I'm not sure what it is, but it works. It's just their "thing" with grandpa - going for walks, and playing in the truck . . . Okay, that's enough of a picture caption! ***


So, today is Friday, and I got to have my first night out - without the boys - in a very long time! It wasn't a big deal, but it was also a very big deal :)

My cousin's wife was having a Partylite party. The plan was for me, mom, and dad to go . . . and to have a babysitter here with J and Z. Unfortunately, my babysitter has a Friday evening class. So that was out. I checked with a neighbor of mine whose daughter gets along great with the boys. . . and it was a no-go. So dad said that he would come out and keep the boys so that I could go. He doesn't need candles, he just wanted to go and socialize with everyone.

Well, it may not be a night on the town, but it's a night out without the boys. Adult company, conversation, and food - well, hors'd hourves (I'm pretty sure that I spelled it wrong. And yes, I'm the one who is all over every one else's spelling. Get over it - that's a tough word!) And I was excited!

I should mention that this was one of those Fridays when I had a million things to do, and cleaning the house and finishing the laundry was at the bottom of the list. I had car stuff to do (oil change/smog check) a WIC appointment, bra shopping, a stop at the bank, and I got called in the middle of all of that to take clothes to the preschool because Z had an accident. ** That almost never happens. When it does it's rare, and it truly is an accident. He's in the bathroom, trying to take his clothes off to get on the toilet - just not fast enough :( ** So after all of that, at the bottom of the list was lunch, dishes, laundry, and general picking-up. I did not get the house looking the way I wanted it to before it was time to pick up the boys!

So I got the boys, and came home. Had to veg for a few, and got dinner on. Dad got here and I served up dinner and headed out the door.

Even though more than half of the people at the gathering were "family" I almost felt like a stranger. My cousin got married to his wife while I was in the Navy. I wasn't there, and I still don't really know her very well. My other cousin came and brought his fiance. I have never met her before, and I'm not very close to either of these cousins. We grew up far apart, so it's just a little awkward. Anyway, moving on. They are still family, and welcome me regardless of how close we are or how well we (don't) know each other. . . . and I am grateful.

There were conversations about everything, a few games, and prizes :) We all nibbled, laughed, and had a lot of fun. Even though mom canceled at the last minute because she didn't feel well, I'm really glad that I went.

Here at home, things went pretty well. Dad handled dinner, took the boys for a walk, and played in his truck (they think it's the coolest thing) and got them settled down with a movie before I got home. There was one small meltdown while I was on the way home, but I still came back to smiley faces on their charts!

I don't think that we're quite ready for me to be out at bedtime or overnight, but this went well, and it really felt good. Thanks, Dad! I know it wasn't much, and it went fairly smoothly, but it means a lot!

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Well, for now, that's about it. And after this long day, it's definitely time for bed!
Goodnight, world :)

It's been a while . . . again!

I have a "link" to my blog in my internet toolbar. I see it everyday when I am surfing the net, facebooking, and doing my online homework . . . I think about blogging about things going on, and I just don't get to it.

I read yet another blog today by H, and realized that I really haven't been writing. When I write, I feel good. When people comment or email me about what I've written and how things are going for us, I feel really good. So I am going to try to be like H. I am going to write more often. I won't hope for daily, but it will be often. About little things. About how I'm feeling. About cute things that the boys are doing or saying. I promise. It's not going to be another month and a half until you hear from me again!

. . . . SO . . . .

A lot has happened in the last month and a half, but not a lot has changed. Does that make sense? I hope so, because it makes sense to me :)

Well, my most recent post was about needing a desk. It was a big deal to me - to help clean up the house, organize, and have a place to study and do my online classwork. I think my desk is beautiful. Maybe soon I'll post some pictures of the desk - along with its clutter. . .

I also have the house a bit more cleaned up (most days) than it was before. If I had any friends that lived close by, I would invite them over and not be embarrassed about it. That's big. Except for my room. We're still not going to talk about it. . . especially since the boys' room mess has moved in to my room. It keeps their room clean and clutter-free while I focus on getting them to go to bed better.

Some days the house gets by me, and I focus on school, or just while away the time between class and picking up the boys. . . The next day (or the day after that) I have to try and catch up on everything. This is especially true on Thursdays and Fridays. I run errands, do laundry, dishes, organizing . . . and usually none of these tasks gets completely finished. Most of it is half-done. But I feel progress. And I am able to see a difference, so it helps me maintain, and keep trying to finish the jobs that I have started.

I know that this routine of falling behind and slowly catching up is not going to work for much longer. Soon I am going to start working. . . for the school that I am going to. Instead of coming home after class to have lunch, do homework, etc, and pick the boys up at 4:30, things will be much different. I will be picking the boys up at 5 pm, without having all of that time to myself in the afternoon. Time management and planning ahead are going to become important. I know this, so I'm trying to work on it now.

I am also trying to work on the boys' behavior. We have behavior charts, but I'm not sure if they're making any difference. They are learning to listen, but following through with what they are told is harder. The biggest obstacle is still bedtime. My stress level will be so much lower when they are able to lay in their beds and just go to sleep. . .

Hmm. Mid-August. What else is new? We have our first pets! Well, sort of. They are fish. It's been about two weeks now. We started out with four, then added one, and yesterday we had our first casualty. Doesn't surprise me much, because it was the fish that never ate any food . . . . If you know me, then you know that I would much rather have a dog. But for now, this is it. The fish don't require much. They look pretty, and the boys are happy.

I guess that seems to be about it as far as the updates are concerned. We've done a lot of things, and the boys have had good and bad moments, but overall things are the same. I'm lonely. Single. Mom. The boys are still cute. Dorky. Attitudish. Still live in the same place, and we're all still in school.

And just like I've said before, I'll say again . . . It may not be a perfect life, but it's our life!

That's all for now!