If you skip down and see what the song is, you're going to think I'm nuts. I'm mostly a country music girl. I like some pop, and a little bit of hip hop. Very little rock. Seriously. So why is this a song that gets to me? Why am I writing this on Memorial Day? Of course there's a story . . .
When I left on my first deployment, Z was six months old. JR was about a year and a half. It killed me to leave them . . . especially since N and I were divorce-in-progress. I had no idea what was going to happen to them in that six months. It wasn't just because I had no control over what they were fed and and how they got to play . . . it was because I couldn't see them, tuck them in, kiss them, spoil them, or fix their hurts . . . for six months. But I left because it was my job. I was a sailor. Sailors are on ships, and ships belong at sea.
For that six months, I could count the pictures that I got on my hands. I had very few phone calls to my children . . . and not just because they were expensive, but because of the time difference, bedtimes, and because they still didn't really talk. It was more like lectures and b*tch sessions from N when I had a phone card, tracked the time difference, and stayed up and waited for a phone.
So when it was time to come home, I was ready. I wanted my babies. Just like any returning service member, I was worried that they wouldn't recognize me, or that I wouldn't recognize them, but those were minor details. I knew they were out there. I was in dress uniform, standing on the outside of the "island" on the USS Ronald Reagan. Not only were my boys out there, but my mom and my aunt, too. My dad and my sister weren't waiting for me. They were on board as my "Tigers". That's another story. But as I was out there, and my shipmates lined the flight deck in dress uniform, I felt proud. I was anxious to get there. Nervous, scared, and excited - all rolled up into one emotional me. As we came around and Coronado came into view, "they" began to play music over the 1MC (Or was it the 5MC? Brandy, correct me because I know it's not the 1MC). Even if I have the wrong number, it was basically music on loudspeaker for everyone to hear.
They played quite a few songs. Only two I remember. "California, Here I come" . . . and "Mama, I'm coming home". . . by Ozzy Osbourne. It was the first time I had ever heard the song, and it stuck with me. I was coming home to my mom, and I was a mom coming home to my children. A few of the lines really stick out, like "Here I come, but I ain't the same" and "Hurts so bad, it's been so long" . . . then there was "I've seen your face a hundred times, Every day we've been apart, I don't care about the sunshine, yeah, Cuz Mama, Mama, I'm coming home" . . . . So, do you have chills yet? Think about it again with the music and lyrics somewhat distorted through the sound system. Remember that your family that you haven't seen in six months is out there, and getting closer. There's balloons, flags, and they're all cheering. That's what I think of, and how I feel every time I hear this song.
Ozzy Osbourne
Mama, I'm coming home
Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come, but I ain't the same
Mama, I'm coming home
Times gone by seem to be
You could have been a better friend to me
Mama, I'm coming home
You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes
You made me cry, you told me lies
But I can't stand to say goodbye
Mama, I'm coming home
I could be right, I could be wrong
Hurts so bad, it's been so long Mama, I'm coming home
Selfish love yeah we're both alone
The ride before the fall
But I'm gonna take this heart of stone
I just got to have it all
I've seen your face a hundred times
Everyday we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
'Cause Mama, Mama, I'm coming home
I'm coming home
(solo)
You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes
I've seen your face a hundred times
Everyday we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
'Cause Mama, Mama, I'm coming home
I'm coming home
I'm coming home
I'm coming home
As the notes end, it all stays quiet for a minute. We're so close that you can see people, instead of just a crowd. You start looking for your people. . . and then you hear a shot. No, no. It's the shot line being sent from the ship to the pier. And the crowd goes wild, because at last, it's official. We're home. The whistle blows, and we are in port. Wipe the tears away. It's a good day. Wave your flags, grab your bags, and hurry up and wait to get off of here.
How about one last detail? For our country's newest Aircraft Carrier's Maiden Deployment, we could have pulled in on the Fourth of July. What a celebration, right? But we didn't. We waited two whole days to come in on July 6th. Why? It's Nancy Reagan's birthday. She referred to us as "her ship" and "her crew". I would have liked to be home two days earlier, but getting off the ship and getting my boys back was the best birthday present that I've ever had!
Well. . . I can't believe I stayed up this late writing. And I didn't even say anything about what we did this weekend - and it was such a great one! I guess those are posts for tomorrow.
It's time for peace and bed.
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